How to Meet and Court Filipina Women in the Philippines for Australian Men

We can tell you the advantages and disadvantages of various countries, cultures and ladies. GREAT advice, I'm sure you've noticed already.

But if you stuff it up in how you manage the dating side, it will all be for nothing. You have to be informed, and you need to act smart. No doubt this means smarter than you've acted in the past. But don't be too hard on yourselves. You've found yourselves here after all, haven't you?

So you're on the right track. You just need to STAY on that track!

And we in return will not sugar-coat anything we tell you!

First and Foremost - How to Date in South East Asian Countries

(Dealing with the less-affluent ladies!)

I used the expression "less affluent" to be polite and not too confrontational. No one likes the word "poor". But sadly the word IS correct, and so you don't feel bad about it. Be aware that this is how the less-affluent will describe themselves. "I'm poor". "My family is poor", etc.

Don't kid yourselves. You won't find too many surgeons and attorneys and trust-fund brats on Asian dating sites! If you live in Manila or Bangkok and you are RICH? You don't want to go anywhere! She is more likely to marry another rich kid and become even richer! That means affording servants, drivers and people to come to her home to do her toenails and pluck her eyebrows! Who has servants and drivers in Australia?

And YOU, being from Australia and having an average job and not living in a slum, this makes you a rich man! Do you FEEL like a rich man? Like most Aussies, no you do not. But to her and her family and friends, yes you are a serious catch!

Scammers and Gold-Diggers in Asia

Sorry for getting the messy stuff out of the way first. But we would be doing you no favours if we didn't.

Are all poor girls from Asia scammers and gold-diggers? NO!

Do they exist and are you likely to come across them? YES, and yes you probably will.

So don't be naïve! You ARE a target for those who will take advantage of you, and the more unaware you are the worse this will be. So be careful what you hear-and-believe and don't give out the wrong signals. And if something SOUNDS too good, it probably is! Keep your wits sharp and use your best judgment. And think with the right head!!

Outright Asian Scammers

The thieves and con artists!

I'll start with the very worst! And know that MOST do not fall into this category, however these will usually be the ones who are very forward and will actively predate on you. These will be the ones who will openly flirt with you in shopping malls, and certainly will be found in bars or amongst the massage girls. Again, if it sounds too good, it normally IS too good!

Even then? Yes it's also possible for the predatory girl to be very clever, and to study you.....sum you up quickly.....and "become" the girl that you admire! Some are very smart!

I'm middle-aged, and in the past was morbidly obese. When a young lady would tell me how incredibly handsome she found me, and laughed at all my jokes (despite my accent making me otherwise confusing!) and telling me how much she loved older men? And if she said to you "57? Oh, I thought you were 35!", then you are being played, my friend!

So if you go hunting for your bride and future mother-of-your-children in bars or wearing some skimpy-shorts and high-heels in the mall, then you stand a high chance of failure. Or if you pick the sexiest and most pouty girl on the dating site who sends you pics in her panties, then again you lessen your chances of marital success.

AND leading on from the previous bit about being a rich man? If you want to meet a nice girl who is interested in what is in your heart, then project yourself in a humble way!

Knight in Shining Armour Syndrome

(Should you try to be a hero?)

We are all conditioned to believe that if we RESCUE the girl, we GET the girl!

And as a gentleman and a decent man, we like to be kind. And who can resist a crying young lady with puppy-dog eyes? Especially when the cost of helping is (at least initially!) well and truly in range!

• She needs college fees or she can't take her exams (and it's about AUD$50.00)
• She needs to take 4 year old to the doctor when the poor kid has a fever
• They're behind in the rent (AUD$120.00 for a month)

SURE you can afford it! And of course it's a one-off, and thank goodness you turned up just in the nick of time! She and her family survived in poverty for umpteen generations, and they just happened to be teetering on the edge of destruction after she's known you for a month! Sound likely? No, not to me either!

You succumb, and the "next time" will happen soon and will be repeated regularly, and the costs will rise!

So use your judgement! See what happens if you tell her "I have a lot of expenses this month"? Will she take it well, or will she block you and ghost you? Either way? It's a victory!

And you can always try giving her that $40.00 and telling her you can't make a habit of it, will she respect you? Or will she have another "emergency" the following week?

You need to find your soul mate. Your future partner-in-life who will stand side by side with you through good times and bad. DON'T try to rescue someone! Especially not a princess!

How About the Desperate Asian Girls?

(The lonely, naive and overly-romantic Asian girls)

She may be utterly sincere, but painfully naive and hopelessly romantic!

Many a young and unsophisticated girl has spent her lifetime reading romantic novels or (these days) more likely watching poor-girl-meets-rich-boy stories on YouTube and will believe that you are her destiny, because you were the first "white man" who contacted her. Or she may have been on a dating app and had nothing but perverts who want to exchange a photo of HIS genitals for one of hers! Yes, these charmers are out there in abundance!

And the poorer she is and the less-desirable she is to the local men, the more likely she is to fall in love instantly. Single mothers, in many Asian countries, often can't find a husband locally and will end up alone or as someone's mistress! Whereas many Aussie men are OK to take on a single mum with her child.

Yes, I married a single mother myself. I ended up with a wife AND a daughter, which was a bargain in my mind. Something that men with vasectomies should consider, as it's not kind to expect a young lady to never have a child of her own!

While I was seeking my ideal wife, I wrote letters to a very pretty young lady with a little boy. She made the mistake of getting involved with her brother in law. She had a child, and became the family shame! She was riddled with guilt and thought me contacting her was Heaven-sent! I could have met her and married her the next day and she would have been OK with this, but I couldn't do it! Not only unfair to her, but what would happen a few years later in Australia when the loneliness, poverty and shame were a thing of the past and she suddenly looked at me and realises that she doesn't even like me that much?

I knew someone years ago in Australia. Sister brings her to Australia on a tourist visa. Petite little lady from the Philippines in her mid-20's. Sister does the social circuit and pushes her enthusiastically at every single man she knows. She latches on to a 50 year old bachelor and moves in with him the next day. Marries and gets to stay on a partner visa. Two kids later, she ends up hating him and treating him like garbage. No longer the timid poor girl! She divorced him when he was in his mid 60's. Sad story!

How to Meet an Asian Bride?

(How do you get started with Asian dating)

Many methods! I have my own preferences from my previous experiences. NOTE that I've been married to my own Filipina bride for 21 years, so I'm out of the market....so more for you! But despite my preferences, my preferences are not everyone's preferences so I'll tell you everything.

Writing Letters

I WILL touch on this just to give some historical perspective, knowing that I don't think anyone would actually do it now.

You do this if:

• You have a mate in Australia married to an Asian lady, and she has a sister or cousin back home that she thinks you may like. If she's older, and not up on computers or smartphones, this MAY still happen. Unlikely.
• There used to be some Asian Bride agencies in Australia with catalogues who would sell you some addresses. Probably none left now!

I'm actually NOT so old as to give you a boring walk down Memory Lane, but I do have a serious point to make!

I met my wife writing letters! She was a photo and a name and address from an online catalogue, and we met via letters. Letters took 2 weeks to send, so would have a reply more than a month after first popping your letter in the Australian Post postbox!

And I wrote her a letter every single day! A short letter for me would be 2 x A4 pages. A more detailed one? 4 - 5 pages. Every day without fail!

End result? We KNEW each other well and truly before we met in person! And we actually fell in love that way!

Compare that to "chatting"!

Bluntly?? Is this the way to see into a person's soul? Is this how you show a lady who you really are and learn who she really is? Can you do that for a few months and truly say you know each other? Does this compare with 5 page letters where you really truly open up?

I hope I've made my point!

Whatever you do, remember that you are embarking on probably the most important decision of your life! Many men put more analysis into the purchase of a car than into choosing a life partner!

Don't "chat"! Don't play and flirt! Open up and really communicate! The effort will pay off!

Word Of Mouth

Personal Asian Introductions

This is where that mate from work who is married to the Filipino or Thai lady senses your interest as well as your frustration with dating the bitter divorced women in Australia, and where his wife thinks maybe you would like her sister or her cousin!

Safe bet? Maybe! Yes it's unlikely she's going to be the Queen of the Gold-Diggers, however whilst your mate and hopefully his wife are hoping for your future happiness, there MAY well be some rose-coloured glasses when it comes to the virtues and qualities of Cousin Marylou! There MAY also be pressure from the family to get her out of their hair and to have one less mouth to feed. That family loyalty may well take precedence over loyalty to you.

So by all means write to her, but keep your mind open. Email her. Chat to her on Messenger. But take your time and get to know her before you make commitments! Don't go ahead just to keep the smile on your mate's face!

Dating Sites

There are plenty of them to choose from, and we won't be telling you which is good and which is bad. I don't think any stand out as good or bad. See below for a list of the more popular ones.

For the last 10 -15 years or so, MOST couples meet this way! Date in Asia. Filipino Cupid. Thai Friendly. You can narrow them down to your preferred country. Or if you want a Christian dating site, you will find a few.

The obvious advantage here is that you can scan through an online catalogue first! You can select what you are looking for! What country. What age range (eg 18 - 25 years, 35 - 45 years, etc). Then you can read through their profiles (AND look at their photos!) and decide who you want to contact.

Getting on a Plane First and Trying Your Luck

Hoping to meet your future Asian bride in person

There are people who swear by this method. And there are a number of things to consider. So I won't say "It's good" or "It's bad". It can be a bit of both, depending on you......depending on the young lady.....depending on what your intentions are.

And my opinion has changed a bit over the years. When I was first looking for my own Asian bride years ago I was less self-confident than I am now. I could not just get into a conversation with someone I didn't know. Now? Well, I can and I do. All the time! Platonically, of course. Happily married to my Filipino wife for 21 years. But yes I love talking to people, especially when overseas. My wife likes seeing monuments. I like people!

Bars and Shopping Malls

We ARE specifically targeting those men.....frustrated with dealing with pseudo-feminist head-cases......who are looking for their life-partner in Asia....in countries like the Philippines, China, Thailand, Vietnam or Cambodia. This is NOT aimed at pickup/playboy dudes. The multi-partnered one-night-stand crowd. If that's your cup of tea? To each their own. But this is not who we're writing this for.

Bluntly? If you want a life-partner? Don't head to a bar! Don't head to the red-light districts and wonder why you can't find Miss Right there! Don't complain later about how "All Thai/Vietnamese/Filipino women are gold-diggers......etc"! You don't go to the butchers to buy apples, do you? You don't go to a bar looking for a blushing bride!

And no I am NOT knocking bar girls! Not at all! If you're a single-mum from a poverty-stricken part of the country where you lack education and professional skills and this is all that you can do to give your child.....and maybe your whole extended family.....some sort of life? I respect the sacrifice. And I've known ladies in Australia who came from that background, who still DID have their dreams of a stable family life and did just that! If you DO meet the love of your life in a bar? More power to you, man!

Shopping Malls?

Why shopping malls? Because there are some shopping malls in various cities that are well-known pickup places where freelance prostitutes work, and sometimes some underage girls running a scam (ie you go with her.....police burst in.....and accept a huge bribe instead of you going to jail!)

So not saying you can't meet someone nice in a shopping mall. I'm just saying to be careful. Shopping malls, bars and red light districts. Better to stay away.

Meeting Asian Girls Out-and-About

If you are fairly extroverted and are OK to meet someone in a shop or a receptionist in an office, or in a gym? You may well meet the girl of your dreams, and you will certainly know quickly if there's chemistry there.

I would suggest you say and do nothing sleazy, and for goodness sakes do NOT do that condescending white-man-and-little-Asian-girl thing!

You know what I mean?

• That pickup line approach.
• Trying too hard to be charming and flattering (and fake)
• Or raising your voice and saying each word very clearly.
• Mocking accents or saying stupid things like "Me love you long time"!
• Making too many references to her being pretty (ie as though that's all that matters)
• Any reference to her body.

Talk to her as one person to another! Be respectful. Don't assume that you are the "Great White Father", and expect her to be honoured by your superior presence.

I was in Da Nang in Vietnam once. Vietnam is a country where the locals have a LOT of self respect! No inferiority complexes, and no one is dazzled by you just because you're white! I was in an "American diner"! I think it's closed now, but it was quite charming. Two nice young ladies were working there, and they were stuck with this American bore who made me think of Hank Hill. Remember the cartoon "King of The Hill"? He was trying to chat them up, but it wasn't working! I think he was expecting them to giggle and to say "Ohhhh sir, you are SO funny! And so handsome!" No, not with ordinary girls! Not honest ones!

So if you happen to be in a "diner" in Da Nang and look and sound like Hank Hill (or any other middle-aged pot-bellied white man), don't expect a bar-girl reaction from a waitress! Her job is to serve you food! If you talk to her on an equal footing and generally cut the crap? Who knows? Maybe you will get on!

So try meeting someone if you wish. Just realise that you may well head home "empty handed" as it were. If you have been writing/chatting/talking to someone and you have formed an actual relationship with feelings and a sense that you may have found Miss Right? Isn't it better to have someone to visit and spend a few weeks with to confirm that you feel the same in person as you do on the phone? Obviously yes!!

A Sure Fire Asian Dating Strategy

Again, I won't tell you what method to use. The eternal question about why people fall in love? I can't answer that. But I can give you a whole lot of practical things to think about.

How do you know this particular Asian girl is the one for you?

Remember what I said before about communicating more and chatting/flirting/being-cute less?

That's a big part of the process of finding out if she's Miss Right. Again, this is why I know how much real value there was in the letter-writing days in my own relationship. We had TIME to search our souls and say what was real and what mattered, and to ask what was important about the other.

Talking together with video camera on? That is a viable alternative too. Many a couple meet online and spend hours every day with the camera and microphone on. They get to read each other. See facial expressions and reactions. They get the chance to be really open. I've known couples who will have breakfast together.....catch up at lunchtime to discuss their day.....and fall asleep together with their phones on their pillows! Met a couple once who had known each other for only two months.....and they spent every spare moment of those two months talking and looking at each other. They were completing each others sentences when I met them! They were THAT comfortable together!

How to find out who she REALLY is?

Here's a trick!

Yes, there are girls who will agree with you about everything. Sometimes they're unsure of themselves and not confident enough to disagree. Sometimes they grew up with families who wanted blind obedience and they're scared to rock the boat. And maybe won't take the risk that you will leave her because she actually LIKES pineapple on pizza but can't bring herself to tell you!

Or maybe she's very patiently scamming you!

Here it is! (*drum roll*)

Ask open questions!

Example!

CANNOT give a dishonest answer! Because YOU are not giving away what you want to hear! You will find out who she actually is!

They say we are given one mouth and two ears for a reason! Learn to shut up and listen, and you will learn what you need to learn!

Again, this is the most important decision you will ever make! Be strategic!

Decide what's important to you in a life-partner!

What are your deal-breakers?

• Do you want children or not?
• Can you not stand seeing pineapple on pizza?
• How do you feel about your partner gambling?
• Do you want a lady who dresses modestly, or do you like it when she dresses and acts more provocatively?
• How about your sexual appetites? Are you compatible?
• Do you have firm religious views? Either for or against?
• Will she put you and your children first, or will she put a sense of duty toward her own parents and siblings first?

You need to KNOW these things!

Find out what she feels about the things that matter, and then tell her how YOU think and feel! You don't want EITHER of you to find out later on that there is something you cannot stand about each other!

Communicate! Talk! Listen!

Be prepared to compromise!

Don't get any ideas about superior males who must be obeyed! Asian ladies are NOT "trained from birth to serve men"! Their mothers do not teach them to shut up and obey!

I listed things above which MIGHT be deal-breakers to you! You may have firm ideas about, say, raising your kids Catholic and attending weekly Mass. How would you handle it if your wife was a fanatical atheist who despised Christianity?

I knew a couple where it was very obvious he had a vasectomy before, ie I guessed! He never told her. She wanted kids! This is what led them to break up, and she is now with another man and has 3 kids! There was no bending on that one. This is why you find out before!

Other things? You compromise! Be clear about those things where you're quite happy to agree to disagree.

Religion! Wanting kids or not! Being vegan versus enjoying delicious steaks! Her sending half her salary to her parents! These things can be highly inflammatory.

Music tastes? Movies you like? Food you like? You can generally agree to disagree. Again, communicate and get to know where you both stand.

Love is important, but compatibility in some ways is even more important!

Other Asian Dating Matters

Should you write/chat/talk to one girl at a time, or 2...3...4?

Same rule applies to dating Sharon or Susan back in Australia! You can go out with anyone you like, but once you become exclusive you should leave it at that. So try to be a gentleman, and don't treat her as a commodity.

Should you get on a plane and visit several Asian girls?

Hey, I can't tell you what to do. This one is up to the individual. However a couple of things to think about on this one.

Coming over to visit someone? It USUALLY implies that you are exclusive at that stage! It's not normal or usual to visit someone as "two friends"! The lady won't expect that. And most couples will stay together when they do. Normally you book a hotel with a double bed, and you both check in together. Saying "Times up! I'm meeting Maribeth this afternoon. Make yourself scarce!" will not go down well!

I tend to think if you are thinking "I can't decide between Maribeth and Maribelle and Marilou", then you are not ready to make a decision about your future life partner! The choice at THIS stage should be "Maribeth or NOT Maribeth!" If things don't work out, you go back home! This ain't a shopping trip where you can't go home empty handed!

I hope that makes sense? Never heard of someone meeting several girls and it working out well!

Conclusion

So, happy dating to you Passport Mates! Hope you avoid problems, but if you do may you learn from them and be wiser next time. If you fail? Get back on the horse (as it were!), and try again! There are plenty of nice girls out there. Just not ALL of them!

And feel free to ask advice from the Passport Mates experts!